i will be , all that you want :)

2009-12-25T07:13:00.002+08:00

i remember the days we spend

together were not enough

and it used to feel like dreaming

except we always woke up

never thought not having you

here now would hurts so much

tonight i've fallen and i cant get up

i need your loving hands to come pick me up

and every night i miss you

i can just look up

and know the stars are

holding you, holding you, holding you tonight.

2009-12-23T15:14:00.001+08:00

i miss your morning breath.

and i miss your hair in my face.

2009-11-21T08:27:00.002+08:00

i know my blog is like super dead. no time to blog la.

working now ! super sad shift ! ahve to work on weekends.

ck's b'day coming soon ! cant wait ! she's so gonna be dead DRUNK :)

anyways, gtg go now . have to work la !!!!

and i miss BIGGIIEE !

and i'm freaking superr

FATTTTT! :(

i miss you <3

i hope you're just right infront of me now.

so i can hold you in my arms

2009-07-31T01:21:00.002+08:00

you just got home bout 1, driving alone. gave you a ring just to hear your voice.

i'm missing you badly , i dont even know why , i cant even explain this feeling .

what's wrong with me ? things are diff now ! and i know that. we cant be like last time

anymore.

i'll just blame myself for not appreciating you in the past.

till the day when i really lose you is the day i actaully realise that what

i've done wrong.

if there is another chance for me, i swear hun , i really

wanna make things better and right , cause

i really cant afford to lose you anymore.

and i know , you're need right one for me .

it's you ! just you !

it's really good to hear your voice .

2009-05-10T17:54:00.002+08:00

hope you're okay .

go see a doc.

and i miss you !

heading to melaka in 10minutes time,

thought of asking you go,

but since you never pick up my calls , reply my msg,

and you're sick, so nvm

take care of yourself

cant stop thinking of you

2009-05-09T07:01:00.002+08:00

wtf is your freaking problem !

go to your freaking bed and think !

if you cant , than slap yourself till you realise wtf is wrong !

you'll never change !

and if dont freaking like my friends, than DONT !

and dont say you love su most all , it's fucking bullshit !

you'll freaking never change !

you'll just turn up worst day by day !

i dont even kow why i cant stop loving you ,

some more you treat me like shit !

just cos of POKER CHIPS weih !

if 'm fraking KIAM i also wont let you use my acc to play,

and you finish all my chips !

just cos of fucking 20m !

!@#$%^&*()

2009-03-28T03:40:00.006+08:00

oh yeah , I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MONKEY !

* jumps around *

muahahahhahahahh!

REPORTTTTT !
41/45

YAY !

lidiiidaaaa :)

3months and i'm still sober.~

<3

2009-03-28T03:27:00.004+08:00

this is the first time i actually burst out in tears for after so long !
i thought i'll never tear again.
cos i lost all my freaking feelings.
i've NO more feelings for anything actually !
but yeah .......
mahai , i feel damn sad now weih !
fucking emo.
i want yau suen , or su !
:(
* wipe tears *

* spank head *
omg , wake up! dont cry ! !
stop thinking bout her !
she's not worth being love by you !
cos she dont even love ,
and appreciate you !
* spank spank *

BE STRONG !

2009-03-28T03:13:00.003+08:00

OMG!

OMG!

SHE SAID SHE LOVE ME !

DAMN BULLSHIT I TELL YOU !

YOU CALL THIS LOVE !
JESUS !
you dont even know wth is love is .
and you'll never know . please !
so stop with all those bullshit.
i always get all the freaking blame !
i'm always in the wrong , get screwed for no reason !
AND I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN YOU SLAM MY PHONE

argghh ! FUCKKKKK !

2009-03-28T03:03:00.003+08:00

(cant stop thinking bout the person who drew this on my leg !)

YES, YOU !

omg ! cant stop thinking bout you thou :(
come to think of it, i felt damn stupid ,
for not appreciating the moments we had last time.
i miss you !

2009-03-27T15:40:00.001+08:00

ps : i miss you too ABBY :) and my slut too , SARNY :)

2009-03-26T20:08:00.003+08:00

APRIL ! omg APRIL !
cant wait till april baby !
ys is gonna be back !
and i might head over to aussie land too :)
and C, i'm right here waiting for you .
hahahhahahahah

and my hair dont look like a mushroom or mop okay !
it's nice , emo emo emo hair !
:)

2009-03-26T17:36:00.003+08:00

woke up 2:30 in the afternoon, came online,
and i receive such shocking news ! lol.
seriously, i think there's something wrong with my head.
i dont even know wth i'm thinking and want now.
can someone help me. :(
sigh , now i only know that i cant wait till ys is back,
we're go gonna drink till kao kao !
and really looking forward to meet christy :)
we have a deal ! lmao !

anyways,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONKEY !
hope you actually like the roses and the card with all the mushroom around it. LOL
promise when you're back i'll get you something much better kay :)
and i'm okay, there's nothing wrong with me.
stop worrying :)
mwahzx, love loves. *hugs*

at the end of the road i might catch a glimpse of me.

2009-03-22T21:22:00.001+08:00

reminder !

2000 packs of nasi lemak
1000 mee mamak
dimsum
new shorts

2009-03-22T21:18:00.002+08:00

8:13 pm

yeah, i really do love you .

i never receive a msg like this from you before.

2009-03-18T16:21:00.004+08:00

nothing in this world would actually last forever.
so stop being so naive and just wake up !
realize it now is better than later.

and yes , everything is starting to break apart now .

2009-03-18T15:59:00.002+08:00

currently listening to
kim ah joong - star (byul)

though i dont even understand a single word what she's singing bout,
but i really like this song.
i can feel it in me.
and for some reason hearing this song makes me wanna cry .

2009-03-18T01:08:00.004+08:00

little monkey :)

(the one on the left)

since i came back to malacca, i've been talking to monkey for like every single day .
she's the only want that will entertain me !
atm , i'm her reminders and thoughts !
and she calls me LITTLE MUSHROOM !
and actually, she's my LONG LONG LONG lost freind <3
PLEASE GOD ! HER REPORT! AT LEAST 7 % PLEASEEE ! !

AND SU ! ! IT HAS BEEN AWHILE SINCE YOU LAST CALLED ME!

nowadays everyone is so busy :(
su is always with her assignment.
mandy i dont know what she's doing all the time.
sarny is abby always is mayang and 2billion.
ck with her stupid GUNZ ! lol.
ys :) layans me once awhile.
kwee is always having exams.
i've freaking 4sis and 2 brothers and one babE !
all freaking busy people .
busy with their lifes and all .

actually, i feel like i'm fading away from each one of them,
except for ys and su :)
( and the SISTERS is breaking apart ! )
i dont know why , maybe is cause i'm the only one that's stupid and useless.
i'm not studying atm and not even doing anything.
i only play, eat, shit, smoke, and yeah , nothing else .
not like any of them , their all studying and working.
and i'm actually surprise bout something,
this is actually the first time i didn't nag my parents bout going back to kl and all,
maybe i feel that i dont belong there anymore,
or maybe i dont wanna depend of anyone of them anymore.
like staying at their place and all.
come on, who am i ?
i'm not really important. i'm not their who so ever !
but i really do miss them a lot. but yeah,
there's actually lots of things that happen recently.
i feel everyone has change.
no offense, but i still feel su's the only one that understand me care bout me most.
cos she's actually the only one that hears all my shits and all.
and she's the only one that i trust.
and i fucking hate it when people lie and hide stuff from me.
come on, we're all in a same group.
geez, i'll sure get to find out one day right !
cause we hang out with the same people everyday.
so why cant you just tell me to my face.
better than me being like a idiot right -__-
but yeah, i dont blame you guys anyways,
cause i'm so freaking used to it already:)

i'm feeling kinda empty now.
i'm actually like a living body with a soul.
maybe i've lost it somewhere.

LOL and you guys out there ,
please take care of yourself.
i still love you guys you know -__-
you guys will always mean a lot to me !
what ever is it , i know we're all just one call away . :)

oh yeah, i notice something recently.
hahahahahah !
monkey actually eat and change really really fast ! LMAO

i'm going off to bed now . nights , sleep tight <3

there's nothing i could say to you,
nothing i could ever do to make you see what you mean to me.

<3

2009-03-16T18:15:00.007+08:00

MONKEY'S reminder and thoughts !

* for breakfast, you're only allowed to eat cereals and fruits
* after 4bowls of cereals, no MAGGIE!
* tuesday, after exams, sleep like a pig !
* report must AT LEAST freaking get 7% ! !
* and dont ever fail bio, or not i'll get all the blame !

2009-03-16T01:59:00.001+08:00

and yes , i believe that one day i'll get to hear you sing again.

your poison is running through my veins.

<3

2009-03-15T13:44:00.001+08:00

ishh ! stupid ! something is wrong with my stupid ass blog ! ! !
why is my pics and layout and everything at the bottom ! arghh ! :(

i shall remove those stupid layout at the sides !

but now my blogs looks stupid !

iSHHhhh !

2009-03-15T00:39:00.000+08:00

and believe me hunn , everything is gonna diff from now .

my heart cant stop beating.
and yes indeed,
i've feelings for you and i wont deny.

<3

2009-03-14T19:28:00.001+08:00

LANGKAWI 3 DAYS 2 NIGHTS with FAMILY and friends !

:)

ys, peg, me, kwee, piksan

us . drinking session

us again

valentine dinner
(hang was my date !)

some cocktail thingy

ck

hang's fucking me !

they're actually comparing who's body was nicer

pose pose ppl !

i have a pair of boobs, pregnant and have a huge dick !

me and hang hang

ys : ppl , cover pao yu up ! faster

py: mahai got baby crab on me

LOL

them again, bullying me

cheeseee ppl !

ahhh, the beach !

me and kwee

big brother

us getting ready to go on the banana boat

woot ! here we go !

me and ys playing with sands

ck folding stars for MZ's valentine present

:)

su's SOTONG , lmao !

we and ck playing with the stupid beach ball!

brothers <3

trying to build a sand castle. LOL

ck is DOWN !

ck, peggy, ys

starfish

:)

me , hang hang , ck

i look like a retard .

langkawi was really great, we had tonnes of fun there !
when big brother come back we shall go again !
missing the moments that we had together.

you guys are the best !
<3>

2009-03-14T16:46:00.000+08:00

and i don't know this could break my heart or save me,
nothing's real until you let go completely,
so here i go with all my thought that i've been saving,
so here i go with all my fears weighing on me.

and i dont know i could crash and burn but maybe,
at the end of this road i might catch a glimpse of me.
so i won't worry bout my timing, i wanna get it right,
no comparing, second guessing. no, not this time.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

there's nothing i could say to you
nothing i could ever do to make you see
what you mean to me
all the pain, the tears i cried
still you never said goodbye and now i know how far you'd go.

i will be all that you want and get myself together
cause you keep me from falling apart
all my life, i'll be with you forever
to get you through the day and make everything okay.

<3

2009-03-14T01:33:00.000+08:00

hey guys, i'm actually starting a new blog again. cos i'm dead bored back in malacca. anyways, i'm missing you guys so badly now. all the moments we had and things that we do. and i miss drinking too. cant wait till brother is back on april to celebrate b'day, and i'll probably be back in kl for 2weeks and come back here again and work my ass out to get more cash cos i'm going over to aussie land this dec for big brother graduation. :) anyways, i'm worrying bout lil monkey now cos she's having a bad stomach ache cause by drinking with empty stomach ! hope she'll feel much better when she wakes up, and obviously my BIG BROTHER too , dead drunk ! both bad evil people ! drink without me ! wondering how's my son now, missing him much and you too . take care ! mwazx <3